What is the greatest sport / activity on earth??
Some say football. Some say camping. Very few say skinny deeping. Some argue its soccer; even after you say football. But let me tell you something... Kissing is the best sport in the world! Allow me to explain why...
Kissing is the most versatile sport around. There are so many types of kisses to choose from – at least one for just about for any occasion. There is the quick peck on the cheek kiss, the peck on each cheek kiss, the peck on your nephew's cheek kiss while grabbing the other cheek flab with your hand, the wildly passionate kiss, french kiss, the elegant kiss on the hand, the dreaded kiss of death, the "Hey you! Kiss my ass kiss", and the sporadic kiss on the forehead kiss.
Kissing is easy to transport. It really doesn't matter where you are. You can kiss at the gym, in the boardroom, in the space shuttle, even in the Artic. Just don't French kiss there.
Kissing requires so little equipment, which means you can do it even when not prepared for the occasion, and even when you have to travel light. This makes it the perfect participation sport for businessmen, world travelers and hippies.
Kissing is eco friendly.Its recyleable. When you kiss somebody, you help the environment.
Kissing is perfectly safe in moving vehicle... just make sure your not driving.. if not it will be a "Kiss your Ass goodbye" kiss.
Kissing is also soon to be legalized in Afghanistan and Tajisnifjudhisgulamnifghi-stan.
Kissing is non-fattening. This is perhaps the best news of all, because dieters now have something to keep their mouths busy while not eating, and smokers can quit smoking without having to chew candies until they induce diabetes.
Kissing is organic, preservative-free, low in saturated fats and does not contain dozens of delicious ingredients that cannot be pronounced, like javelchromopntheoremicherbicidic acid.
Most kisses are not tested on animals, but who am I to hold back your sense of adventure? Freaks.
You can kiss just about everyone: your boyfriend, your aunt, your wife, your mechanic, the Prime Minister of the Yemen and your pet Algerian Hamster.. Don't try kissing them all at the same time, though...especially not your boyfriend and your wife.
Most kisses are not tested on animals, but who am I to hold back your sense of adventure? Freaks.
You can kiss just about everyone: your boyfriend, your aunt, your wife, your mechanic, the Prime Minister of the Yemen and your pet Algerian Hamster.. Don't try kissing them all at the same time, though...especially not your boyfriend and your wife.
Kissing meets the toughest safety regulations of any national or international sporting organization. Kissing has a tremendous safety record, except for the occasional locked braces for nerd and geeks.. But a quick call to your local plumber fixes the problem.
BUT... extreme kissng is not recommended...
The only recorded deaths involving kissing are by third parties, usually wives, husbands, rejected lovers and indonesion maids...
I do NOT recommend "extreme kissing". For instance, don't kiss an on-duty garbage truck; it is considered dangerous. Don't kiss a metal fence-post in sub-zero weather; Don't kiss any electrical outlets, or you'll look like this...
Are you paying attention? This one is important. Don't kiss the vacuum cleaner if you want to retain all your vital organs. It's OK to kiss sandpaper, just don't use your tongue. Don't kiss a chainsaw; I feel this one is self-explanatory.
And finally, and the most important of all.. No matter how drunk you are, no matter how HIGH you are on cocaine, weed, or cocaine and weed.. Never ever... and i mean... NEVER EVER KISS HER!
