When i clicked on new post, i smiled. Cynicaly. Am i mocking myself? Maybe i am.. simply because it's been a while and who am i kidding.. but then again.. i'm not expecting anyting from this self tirade of my opinions...estimations, judgements.. whatevers...
Listen, what i'm about to articulate may sound a lil' bit bizzare.. but, as i mentioned earlier.. what am i expecting? Nothing.
I have a sudden deep, compelling urge to be a dad.... a Father .. i mean not like the guy who pretends to hear your confessions and goes back stage and fondles a young boy.. nope. Nothing like that.
I mean a Daddy. You know, that middle aged, size 42 belly'd, pushing a stroller with a really ANNOYING, NOISY 2 year old in it, thing.
Why? I don't know. Well to begin with, i didn't get my better half knocked up.....yet. So this isn't just an excuse to glorify my pre marital sin. And i haven't been secretly watching "Cute babies" videos on Youtube. And by the way, those videos should be flagged! Parents should not be allowed to "sell" their babies' loveliness online! That's just a par of Child Labour! "Ring Ring"...Hello? UNICEF?
So why then? Is it a subconscious thought that lingers above the actual contemplation to get hitched? That's married for you civilized hobos... Is IT? Sigh....
Let's forget about why... and talk about What if?
Lets see, first, what would i want? A boy? A girl? Man this is tougher than choosing which flavoured candy... if at all that is a comparison i ca make.
Well, lets go with a girl first. She'll be the cutest darling to me in the whole wide world, and with the panorama Facebook has on us these days, probably also the cutest in the whole wide web! My missus' will probably upload 40 million pics of her within 3 days of her birth. (Hello? UNICEF? Come get my wife...).
And then when she grows up to be 5, she will probably outsmart me in every aspect...
Eg:
Dghter: Dad, i found a dead cat today...
Dumb ol' me: Really, how did u know it was dead?
Dghter: Well, i pissed in its ear and it did not move...
Dumb ol' me: You did what??!!
Dghter: You know, i leaned over it's ear and went "pssst" and it did not move...
And then, 16... a teenager.. ahhh... Mother nature's best joke on us. She gives us 15 years to develope love for our children and then turns them into a teenager. And then her boyfriend. To me, watching your daughter being collected by her BF, is like handing over a billion dollars to a gorilla!
And 10 years of undefined torture later, she would (pretend to) ask your permission to marry that gorilla. And you can't say no, simply because... well, honestly i don't know. Your brain is just programmed to automatically say YES, with a fake smile in your face... or maybe you just want her to be happy, and most importantly, trust her judgement. And then the wedding, blessing your daughter and that despicable gorilla... and seeing her being taken away from you after 26 years of hard work to produce the finest "product" of that Wonderful Evening. Not to mention the 30 grand I spent for her reception! Damn you gorilla!
Wait..wait.. this is going to far... I feel bloated already... What if it's a boy?? Oh no....
To be continued.......
