I've been
thinking recently and I am proud of being a Hindu. No, this has nothing to do
with me finally realizing Santa Claus is an atrocious lie. And yes, I realize the
blasphemous notion flies in the face of a few thousand years of "Ye shall
have no other gods before me." (To be honest, even when I was a kid that
commandment troubled me. It sounded like a jealous girlfriend saying, "If
I catch you looking at other girls, you're in big trouble!" And don't get
me started on how "no other gods before me" kind of implies that
there might actually be some other gods loitering about.) But my main reason
for unexpectedly being proud is that it neatly answers the age-old question,
"Why does god allow so much suffering in the world?" When tragedy
strikes, the monotheistic approach can only offer the tired old, "It is
not for us to question god's will." Really? Why not us? Who else is in the
questioning business? But look what happens when we ask the same question from
a pantheistic perspective. Why do the gods allow so much suffering in the
world? Because outside of their particular area of expertise: farming, war,
fertility, what-have-you, they are not even remotely in control. The liability
stops nowhere. (In this scenario the Bhagavad Gita deities are off the hook as
far as your general suffering is concerned.) But here's the really good news:
with a polytheistic approach to prayer we can micro-target our beseeching.
Trouble with love? Take it to KRISHNAN. Not catching enough fish? Vishnu’s
Avatar MATCHA. Are you regularly waking up hung-over from alcohol-induced
blackouts in the sleeping compartment of 16 wheel trailers that carries illegal
items stolen from “Kastams”? That sounds like a job for MADURA VEERAN. Need to successfully
start an illegal business that will forever haunt your conscience and bring
shame to your family and friends? Look no further, GANAPATHI’S here! In other words, whatever the crisis might be,
there's a god ready to take your call. What are you waiting for? Call now and
receive free goat-sacrificing equipment! (GOAT SOLD SEPARATELY)
