The Prostitute

He drove slowly down the street. His eyes scanned the sidewalks of KL.


He need a decent whore to overcome his primitive urges. Men. Can't hold on to their thoughts nor ...Well.. the other..


To most people, it was late. But for him, the night was still young. Any common whore would be a decent victim, but since the police have been cracking down hard on prostituition, he's options were rather....dismal.


Then he saw her. She was perfect. Not to beautiful to make his mind wander away; distracting his plans and not too ugly; for him to not pleasure from his act.


"Get in" he said, coldly.


She, without asking a word, gently opened the door, slid into the car, lifting her miniskirt, but not to much to have a peek at her under garments.


He drove of, away from the rich and glowing centre of KL city; to a more measly district.


"Where are we heading"?


"Shut up!"... "You'll know when we get there..."


She brushed of his harsh, angry words as she is used to men of his kind.


He drove into a rocky path; heading towards a run down warehouse.


"Get out".. and she complied, nervous of what he's next act would be.


She stood outside, holding nothing but her purse. "What if he does something"? "Can i fight him off?".. so many questions in her head.


She watched apprehensively, as the man got out of the car. Acting naturally, she started to dig thru her purse.


"What are you looking for"? he asked, getting close to her, with his hands in his pockets.


"Ciggrattes"...


He smiled sinically..."I might have it in my car"...


The man went back to his car, and as he dug the floor of his car, she found what she was looking for in her purse.


As he turned around, he had no idea what she had in her hand, even when he raised his knife to stab her, it was too late to notice the gun in her hand.


As he lay there bleeding to death, she kneeled on him and "You prick! I'm sick of you men taking advantage of us women. You should realise by now, we are not defenceless"...


"You bitch"..the man gasped as he slowly bled to death..


"Yeah.. thats what the other eight assholes said"...

The Clock Struck 12

"Ma, i'm on the way. Sorry, should have left earlier. Got tied up with work. I shud be around to meet you by 12 am..."...


"You one dum dum.. hehehe... nvm.. take your time.. don't rush. Drive Safely! Dun fly!"...


"Aite.. love you gomz.. haha.."


"Aite.. love you ramz... hehe..


Click.


My speedometer read 155kmp/h. Quite fast for Karak. Quite proud too. :) It's 10:45 now. I should be able to reach Kajang by 12am...


Reminds me of my dad's lecture.. " Don't drive more than 80kmp/h in Karak Highway. It's dangerous. Blah blah blah..


Jeez.. Give me a break.. 80kmp/h??  This ain't flintstone's mobil.


Whoooosh! wow... F%^&ing lorry... almost knocked me.. Gotta teach him a lesson..


Gear down, letz rumble.  Vroooooooooom... i overtook him on the emergency lane... But my tyre ran through a pothole ...i can feel my car doing a 180 and the next thing in front of me was BDE 666, the lorry which i wanted to overtake. The headlights. They were bright. I could see the light.


I stared at the light. They were not bright. Quite dim actually. I always reminded her to change the bulbs but she never listens. I stood there staring at the lights, not knowing what to do next. I slowly gathered courage to look for her. There she was, in front of her pc.. as usual, staring at the monitor. I wanted to get close, but i was afraid she would be startled. So i stood there just watching. She ws so beautiful, she always has been, to me. Especially when she smiles. But i guess i won't be seeing that anymore. I was just enjoying the scene of her.


But sadly the Nokia tone interupted my moment. She turned back at grabbed her phone; suprised to see the number on the screen..


Click,


"Hello? Yes neina..."


There was a moment of silence.... then she screamed my name... she screamed so loud.. that it even shivered down my spine.. i stood on her doorway.. watching.. helpless....


Her parents, alarmed by her scream... ran into her room... and they ran through me..


Her mother held her and kept asking why.. but she could not answer as she was half unconscious.. all she kept saying was my name... Her father took the phone from her and after a few seconds... held his hand on his forhead.. and started wheeping as well... i wanted to cry too.. but i was numb.. i couldn't feel a thing..


And suddenly, i felt a tap on my shoulder. It was him. and i smiled..


"Hey Lu, never really thought it would be you". "Why? Where is HE?"


"Sorry son, you had it coming. You did all rite, but you never listened..."


"Sigh"... "Alright Lu, lets go."


As i turned around, the clock in her room struck 12. It was 12am...


I turned back, looked at her and smiled.. Happy that i kept my last promise to her, that i will be around by 12am.

Aval

Aval sits
Aval stares
Aval looks at everyone, everything, anything,
Aval can’t help but be like herself
Aval is self-contained, self-restrained, self-conscious,
Aval is relaxed
Aval wants to let go, of her inhibitions, limitations, expectations
Aval wants
Aval needs
Aval fills MY room, THE girl among many
Aval whispers, yes you, only you
Aval sees nothing in herself that she doesn’t see in others
Aval is a part of a cohesive whole
Aval looks about
Aval wonders
Aval realizes
Aval is an artist, a realist, a pessimist, an intellectual, a relationship seeker, a sensitive soul
Aval is, Aval can, Aval will be anything,
Aval shaped ME, but doesn’t rule me
Aval, like no other, rocks my world
Aval like no other, privileged my life
Aval could have been anything—a weeping willow, a souring snowflake, a daring dog, a
confident cat, but
Aval wasn’t
Aval is a person, a woman, an impressionable being
Aval deciphered my life of twists and turns, bends and hurdles,

Aval drafted my hopes, lifted my spirits and roused my dreams
Aval is unique in her own way

Aval is important to me

Aval is me

Aval is my Gomalah

To Pull Off a Mental Mike..

It isn't easy. But he did it.


And when he succesfully pulled it off, we branded him insane. Mentally unstable. Even I.. cussed him.


"bloody Hell!" i said.. How can he do that! He won't survive. "He's Screwed!"...


"dug his own grave"... "He'll definitely come back crying"!                        


 He never came back


So here i am standing, alone, well, almost... looking up and begging HiM, to send me an angel.


To help me pull off, a Mental Mike. Toughest job, but over time, the best self rewarding satisfaction you can ever have.


And i'm all set to jump, but i'm afraid to take the dive. I knwo at the bottom, it is a smooth and comfort landing. Everything is set perfectly to break my fall. But, the period after the dive and before the landing is what scares me.


I do believe along the way, there are are beautiful sceneries to look at; to keep myself calm. But i also know that the moment i dive, i will shut my eyes. And if i do, the journey down, will be full of assumptions and fake hopes. And as mentioned, although the land below is a bed of roses w/o thorns, the journey eyes shut, is like hustling thru a weed farm!


 (Weed : in a general sense is a plant that is considered by the user of the term to be a nuisance)


Well, Mental Mike, if you're out there somewhere, bless me.


I'm about to replicate your greatest act.






**Public Announcement : Don't try to understand this piece, this ain't a swan song, this is the CrowSquawk.

That middle aged, size 42 belly'd, pushing a stroller with a really ANNOYING, NOISY 2 year old in it, Thing...[Part 1]

When i clicked on new post, i smiled. Cynicaly. Am i mocking myself? Maybe i am.. simply because it's been a while and who am i kidding.. but then again.. i'm not expecting anyting from this self tirade of my opinions...estimations, judgements.. whatevers...


Listen, what i'm about to articulate may sound a lil' bit bizzare.. but, as i mentioned earlier.. what am i expecting? Nothing.


I have a sudden deep, compelling urge to be a dad.... a Father .. i mean not like the guy who pretends to hear your confessions and goes back stage and fondles a young boy.. nope. Nothing like that.
I mean a Daddy. You know, that middle aged, size 42 belly'd, pushing a stroller with a really ANNOYING, NOISY 2 year old in it, thing.


Why? I don't know. Well to begin with, i didn't get my better half knocked up.....yet. So this isn't just an excuse to glorify my pre marital sin. And i haven't been secretly watching "Cute babies" videos on Youtube. And by the way, those videos should be flagged! Parents should not be allowed to "sell" their babies' loveliness online! That's just a par of Child Labour! "Ring Ring"...Hello? UNICEF?


So why then? Is it a subconscious thought that lingers above the actual contemplation to get hitched? That's married for you civilized hobos... Is IT? Sigh....


Let's forget about why... and talk about What if?


Lets see, first, what would i want? A boy? A girl? Man this is tougher than choosing which flavoured candy... if at all that is a comparison i ca make.


Well, lets go with a girl first. She'll be the cutest darling to me in the whole wide world, and with the panorama Facebook has on us these days, probably also the cutest in the whole wide web! My missus' will probably upload 40 million pics of her within 3 days of her birth. (Hello? UNICEF? Come get my wife...).


And then when she grows up to be 5, she will probably outsmart me in every aspect...
Eg:
Dghter: Dad, i found a dead cat today...
Dumb ol' me: Really, how did u know it was dead?
Dghter: Well, i pissed in its ear and it did not move...
Dumb ol' me: You did what??!!
Dghter: You know, i leaned over it's ear and went "pssst" and it did not move...


And then, 16... a teenager.. ahhh... Mother nature's best joke on us. She gives us 15 years to develope love for our children and then turns them into a teenager. And then her boyfriend. To me, watching your daughter being collected by her BF, is like handing over a billion dollars to a gorilla!


And 10 years of undefined torture later, she would (pretend to) ask your permission to marry that gorilla. And you can't say no, simply because... well, honestly i don't know. Your brain is just programmed to automatically say YES, with a fake smile in your face...  or maybe you just want her to be happy, and most importantly, trust her judgement. And then the wedding, blessing your daughter and that despicable gorilla... and seeing her being taken away from you after 26 years of hard work to produce the finest "product" of that Wonderful Evening. Not to mention the 30 grand I spent for her reception! Damn you gorilla!


Wait..wait.. this is going to far... I feel bloated already...  What if it's a boy?? Oh no....


To be continued.......

It is Spelled ....S-A-S-I N-A-L-I-N-I...

Classic tamil films based on romance and love are nice because they have:


1. Decent romance
2. Abundance of love
3. Family values
4. Culture
5. Happily Ever After


And what do you getif you mix them all together... A Super Duper Hit!


And these are the 5 attributes i witnessed in Sasi and Nalini's Engagement / Love Life...


A classic couple that gave us a super hit love story...

Ever heard of "Swaptapadigal".. No? Well Google it then (i would love to elobrate but.... )


Well its also know as the 7 steps /wows to a wedding..


Below are the 5 steps that i witnessed towards their engagement.


Here goes...


1. Decent Romance


If you watch Sasi and Nal, they don't look like a wild or crazy-ly in love couple, or a boring snooty couple..
JUST NICE... JUST BEAUTIFUL... its like, when you have enough tasty food to fulfill your heart and stomach.. or enough knowledge to make you feel smart and secured... thats what they are, they are a decent couple... not to much.. not to little...
A couple, which when you look at, will enlighten a feel of love in you..
A couple, which when you speak to, will make you happy... or delighted..
A couple, which when you blend with, will make you wanna fall in love too...


And to your amazement, they "have been in love" since kindie days... so believe it or not, its a love that conquered 3 decades...


Even Y2K gave up..


Wow to that people!


2. Abundance of Love


Love as stated above, is not only for the engaged couple.. its an entirety.
Love between the a mother and her son, love between a daugther and her parents, love between a cool-headed dad and his son, who has a grasp over his responsibilities; thanks to love itself....
The whole place was filled with love..
Recently Sasi's mom was unfortunate to have experienced a mishap; which resulted in she having to limp when walking...
But that did not stop her from "limping" her way to the bride's house..
And the best part is... well.. take a look at the picture below..

Can you see their hands held together?
The loving husband and caring son guiding the woman of their lives into the brides house. Now, that is a dictionarial definition for the word "BOND".
















3. Family Values
Two families coming together to celebrate the love between to beautiful people, without any boundries, diffrences and most importantly, with loads of love and respect.
Now, ain't that a fairy tale? No, it is a tale that will be told for years to come.
It's a lesson thought by them to people who still uphold ravaging aspects of life to wreck the love of many inspiring lovebirds....
True love is not between two, but the one that encircles the many.


4. Culture
A true, alive, breathing , moving, perfectly sculpured modern and cultured woman. A perfect example to all young indian girls who wants to be the modern yet a cultured Indian woman..


Nalini Karunanithi
Dot.


5. Happily Ever After
As these two pledge to live happily ever after, the point is people, the will live. As to live thru love itself, is a "Happily Ever After".


Finaly, What is love? A word that has no definition? Poets have glorified love. Many battles have raged for the sake of love. Yet, it remains an enigma. Its beauty remains hidden. If you have found true love, you would know that love is a feeling like no other. It complements life and happiness.
Is Love spelled L-O-V-E?


Well, to me, on Feb 5th 2011, it was spelled, "S-A-S-I  N-A-L-I-N-I.....

Handicap

Handicap : Disabilty; a human condition.. A HUMAN CONDITION...


What were the conditions.. i was not told... Did i break any rules? Or just ignored to follow it.. Makes any sense? i know; i'm confused too...


With everything within my grasp, with everything firmly secured, with everybody loving me completely, i am still feeling insecured.. still feeling lonely..


I am a handicapped man.


Its been a while since i went home.


Been on the roads for way too long; trying to find my way back home....


I love my job.. what i do.. where i've been... what i've seen.. but this thing i do is kinda drowning me...


I miss my mum, my dad... my gal.. and especially my buddies..


Its been so long since i hugged my mom, shook my dad's hand, kissed my gal, and fooled around with my buds..


They are all there, firmly placed.. but where am i?


I am here, but not there...


What if its too late?


Its raining on me and its cold...shivering cold... but i feel warmth just under my eyes.. and it ain't rain drops...


I am floating right now.. barely.. but what if i drown?? Where will i wander around?? Shit... even that rhymes..


I was on a chooper heading to south china sea on new years day while my family was having lunch together... everybody was with somebody.. i was beside an Indonesian who looked as lost as i was..


Some people feel lonely or heartbroken or even dejected.. when they lose someone they love..


What about me?? i have everybody yet i feel.. island..


Time management?? Proper Work segregation? Damn.. that sounds tooo machine...


I hope to swim ashore soon.. the tide is getting higher..


With everything blessed to be mine, i still feel cursed..


I am breathing , yet i'm suffocating..


I am a handicap.