Good Riddance (Time of your Life)

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

Come as You Are..

Come As You Are

Come as you are, as you were, as I want you to be.
As a friend, as a friend, as an old Enemy.
Take your time, hurry up, choice is yours, don't be late.
Take a rest, as a friend, as an old memory.

Memory ah, Memory ah, Memory ah.


Come doused in Mud, soaked in Bleach, as I want you to be.
As a trend, as a friend, as an old Memory ahhh.

Memory ahh, Memory ahh, Memory ahh.

Chorus:
And I swear that I don't have a gun
No, I don't have a gun
No, I don't have a gun

--Instrumental--

Memory ahh, Memory ahh, Memory ahh, Memory ahh. (Don't have a Gun.)

Chorus:
And I swear that I don't have a gun
No, I don't have a gun
No, I don't have a gun
No, I don't have a gun
No, I don't have a gun
(Memory ahh, Memory ahh)

Jibber Jabber..

You're welcome.


I wish i can give you guys a thank you card right now.


Because i'm thankful.


I think gettin' a thank you card is such a great feeling.


Every thank you card i get, i like to send back a welcome card... right away.


And in every welcome card, i like to put a gift in it. You know, something to mean my welcome.
I think the best gift you can give someone besides love, ....... is a STARBUCKS gift card.
I mean those things are free...They're just front there on the counter..
You can grab as many of those gift cards you want...
You take those home and you put them with your welcome card..
You sent them out to your friends or family...or your mom...
and you wait like 2 weeks...
And then your mom call you and says some sweet things like ....
Dei.. did you send any money with the STARBUCKS card..?
You just say no... Thats a gift card...
You can put as much money as you want mom...
You're Welcome.

The other day, I walked into my roommate while i was masturbating..
My roomate's actually my girl..
So.. she hates when i call her my roomate..
Especially when im introducing her to other women..

Life savers only work if you're a diabetic..
and wouldn't this world be a cleaner place if we could just give all blind people broom rather than canes..

I wish somebody would open up a restaurant, and name it "Anywhere"...
So finally i can go to the place my girlfriend always talking about...
"Anywhere"...

And at that restaurant, i hope they have "Super Salad"..
Because everytime the ask me if i wanna "Super Salad".. I say Yes! I would love a "Super Salad"...
Is it good? Is it extrodinary...?
And then they say "No sir.. We asked if you want a "Soup or Salad"... not a "Super Salad"...

WELL THEN WHY DONT YOU START SAYING SALAD OR SOUP!! AND STOP GETTING EVERYBODY'S HOPES UP!!

Sorry...

My Wifi went down 3 days ago.. That's because my neighbours moved out 3 days ago...

They just made it illegal to text message and drive..

I got pulled over for texting and driving, but the policeman let me off because i proved for actually snapping a photo of my penis...

He left me with a RM300 fine and his email address...

You're welcome.

ytsenoH dna rorriM ,lerriuqS

.ti rof tpa t'nsaw i nosrep tsenoh na gnieb tuoba laiceps gnihtemos s'ereht kniht I esuaceb ro rail doog a saw I esuaceb tsuj ,gniht ym t'nsaw ytsenoH


.elpoep rehto naht elbaulav ro tnatropmi erom sa drow ruoy ekat dna uoy ot netsil yllautca elpoep ekil leef uoy sekam ti dna ,gnihtemos wonk ot tnaw yllaer yeht nehw uoy ot emoc lliw dna nosrep doog a ro erecnis uoy dnif ti etaicerppa ohw esohT .t'nsi nosrep egareva eht esuaceb kcap eht morf trapa uoy stes ti ,drawrofthgiarts si ohw enoemos er'uoy nehw tuB .seil enoyreve dna ,neht dna won yreve seil nosrep egareva eht kniht I


...nehw detrats lla ti ,dezilaer i neht ,deneppah siht woh ,kniht ot deppots i nehw tuB .eno sa delebal gnieb deyojne i dnA .nosrep tsenoh na sa dednarb neeb tahwemos ev’I ,yltnecer tuB


.lerriuqs tep ym htiw desselb saw i nehw detrats lla tI


.uoy sevol tub ,uoy htaol ton lliw ti ,ti ot tnerappa era uoy nehw tub ,semit ta yhs si tI .htiw eb ot dna hctaw ot yoj a dna ,evitisiuqni ,etuc ,yrruf ,gnikrowdrah si tI .erutaerc fo dnik laiceps yrev a si lerriuqs eht ,ees uoY
.ekatsim eht yrub ot seil tuo seldeen ylanoitar hcihw ,ekatsim a timmoc ot nosaer on em gnivig ,tca ym pu denaelc osla ti ,yltneuqesbus .hturt eht llet ot noitatiseh ro raef on leef elba saw I .em fo tuo ytsenoh eht dekovorp ti taht ,noitaroda dna tsurt fo hcum os htiw em derewohs lerriuqs yM


.eno gnieb eunitnoc lliw dna ,efil ym ni rorrim a neeb sah lerriuqs yM .YTSENOH htiw ,esruoc fo ,emas eht od ot uoy sehcaet dna efil s'ti syojne tI .oot ti rof tcepser fo laed taerg a evah i ,yllanosreP


.''rorrim'' ni ,esrever ni nettirw si gniht elohw siht nosaer eht s'taht dnA


.lerriuqs a ,rorrim a yb tuo detcelfer saw ytsenoh ym ,esuaceB

Seduction - The Ballad of Lakshmi

I didn't want to be called Lakshmi... But they teased me by that name...


It looked so elegant. Stunning in silk. And not to mention it was Red in colour.
I wanted it so badly. The more I looked at it, the more i felt like a woman. More than a woman actually.
It would perfect my intention, my desire. Everything has been done. The transformation is somewhat has been perfected. The only thing left is to have that Silk Red Dress embrace me.
**Swipe**. I bought it.

It's my first night out with him. I'm unaware of who he is; which makes it all the more interesting.
A blind date. I met him on a chat space. We conversed for 6 months before deciding to go on a date.
Tonight is the night. I am nervously ecstatic! I straighten my hair, mascara to the face, foundation, blusher, and lip gloss to dazzle it off.

I arrived to the restaurant 10 minutes late. I walked in, and looked for a man clad in a green shirt; that's what he promised to wear, to be identified. He was looking at his watch; which put a smile on my face. Such a typical man!

I walked towards him, and said hi. He had a suprise look on his face... followed by an air of disgust.
I vaguely heard him utter something, something in repulsion. That's when the whole thing flased before me.
I was blinded by excitement, drowned in my own fantasy.

He stood up, threw the napkin on the table and walked away. I sat there, knowing, although this is just the beginning, i have a whole lot of ocean to swim across, to reach my destination. Even then, i'm not promised a safe landing...

I didn't want to be called Lakshmi... But they teased me by that name... I hated it at first, but as it went on, i could not resist, I could not fight the SEDUCTION of femininity. I wanted it more than anything. I gave up and sacrifised everything i had to become a woman.

I was known as Lakshman, but now.. just call me Lakshmi.

Unforeseen Marriage with Mr. C - by Kasturi Sabapathi

This is a piece from my Buddy's Blog...

Source: http://kas-ruthis.blogspot.com/
Author: Kasturi Sabapathi

The reason i'm posting this is because it was written effectively. And i read it like a million times..
Here goes...

A true story of a strong woman, she has been together with him for 12th years and It’s took 12 years for him to kill her silently & totally. I’m impressed with her patience of having him in her life, her courage & her capability of hiding this issue from known by her parents.

How? & Why? At her age of 30, her parents get worried when all of her wedding proposal got rejected. Reasons; she is fat…Dark in skin color etc…

Day by day…month by month she encounters that she getting hairy & then she take initiative to go and consult doctor what goes wrong…

Doctor ask ‘Do your menstrual cycle is irregular?’ she answered ‘yes, doctor’. By referring her to a gynecology, is where everything got changed…Doctor confirmed that her uterus was totally spread with Cancer Cells… (“Yeah Mr. C, Instead of getting married to a man & live happily ever after, she ended up with this Cancer Cells”)

Doctor suggests removing the uterus in order to avoid this Mr. C spreads more…and she agreed. (“With that the dream of getting married & having kids totally demolished. DOT”)

Yet her parents don’t know that she having this deceased. Her parents get more worries & worried till at a stage they get up & no more bug her to get married.
She’s no more fat & she even become a little fairer. (“BUT it doesn’t make any sense…Anymore”)

For 5 years, Mr. C remains silent but doesn’t mean he gone. He back after 5 years… but this time at different place…she went thru all the possible treatment like radiotherapies & Chemotherapy until reached a stage where No more treatment able to proceed & she reaching her age of 42, physically she getting weak & Mr. C successfully reached her liver… (“Mr. C was there with her 24/7 not to pleasure her but to give her pain. And she had to hold the pain and act as normal in front of parents…Mr. C what you had done…”)

A day before she died, she manage to told her mom that she was suffering with cancer for pass 12 years…and She no more now.

When her mom asked me, ‘Do you know your aunt suffered with cancer for pass 12 years?’... ‘Yes, grandma, I do know her condition’. Grandma ‘You lie to me as well?’ that’s most heart breaking statement but yet hiding from her knowledge was a decision made by aunt and her siblings and that’s was good idea on my perception. She is no more BUT I still Love you.

To all out there & Unforeseen Married to Mr. C, I salute as you are the strongest persons I had ever known. Be strong & love you all………………

She's Back!

Not without the help of a smooth breeze blowing, flowing closer within

I've come to realise I’ve got the sun in my pocket and the moon in hands.

But what do i do with them?
I throw it up amongst the stars and watch it move in a dance. It's beautiful, synchronized.
Then I stop out of mesmerism. Take a deep breath, think for a second or two, and play it over again
Not without the help of a smooth breeze blowing, flowing closer within.

I get bored soon, then think about the route that I took. I heard them say that I should play it by the rules of
the book but the problem was, I took it real easy on them, but proceed to beat the problem.

Smooth wishes in my words, belief’s a need to calm them. Took time for them to listen and pay attention to the things that I came to mention.

I’ve had simliar ways of tension, so the trick is to just consider the maze of questions
I really have. I’ll be ready but just need  a second,
I’m here... just give me a second.

It’s growing well now, so close I can almost hold it. Almost. Cant wait. Provoke and open now, hope there’s no oppose to close it tight. For a broken soul must be over, trading craters for holes to solve it. Fill it.
A cold reality is actually an amnesty in closer circles. The people around, within you. People who actually gives a shit.
Unfold the truth, being honest is the best option given or taken. It’s worth, give them a sign to show it’s perfect.
A person evolves to a purpose. When the purpose is understood and acknowledged, a turn in fortune will take place to resolve it. Resolve all.

I was scared. But not anymore. Follow me if you're scared. the fear is temporary. I've got the solution.
And you know why?

Because, I’ve got the sun in my pocket and the moon in hands.

Creepy and Seductive - I Love It

Ladytron - Ace Of Hz

Salute the Geeks!

We are scientist - Rules don't STOP

Taste for Good Music Brought Me To This

Chromeo-Don't the Lights On

The Malaysian Dream

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Ramanitharen Tanggaraju

"I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital but analog free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstruction that is anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!


I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and frequently I’m radioactive.


I'm behind the straight line, ahead of the curve, ridin the wave, dodging the bullet and pushing the envelope. I’m on-point, on-task, on-message and off drugs. I’ve got no need for coinca and speed. I've got no urge to binge and purge. I’m in-the-moment, on-the-edge, over-the-top and under-the-radar. A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell POWER LIES, I take power naps and run victory laps. I’m a totally ongoing big-foot, slam-dunk, rainmaker with a pro-active outreach. A raging workaholic. A working rageaholic. Never been to rehab and in denial!


I’ve got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. You can’t shut me up. You can’t dumb me down because I’m tireless and I’m wireless, I’m an alpha male on beta-blockers.


I’m a non-believer and an over-achiever, laid-back but fashion-forward. Up-front, down-home, low-rent, high-maintenance. Super-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built-to-last! I’m a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk head case pretty maturely post-traumatic and I’ve got a love-life that sends me hate mail.


But, I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing; a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary care-giver. My output is down, but my income is up. I took a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash-flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds and I watch trash sports! I’m gender specific, capital intensive, user-friendly and lactose intolerant.


I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the “F” word in my emails and the software on my hard-drive is hardcore; no soft porn.


I eat fast-food in the slow lane. I’m toll-free, bite-sized, ready-to-wear and I come in all sizes. A fully-equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically- formulated medical miracle. I’ve been pre-wash, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed and, I have an unlimited broadband capacity.


I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal. Lean and mean! Cocked, locked and ready-to-rock. Rough, tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide. I’ve got glide in my stride. Driving and moving, sailing and spining, jiving and grooving, wailing and winning. I don’t snooze, so I don’t lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hearty and my lunch time is my crunch time. I’m hanging in, there ain’t no doubt and I’m hangin tough.


Over and out.

Otherside

To me, its the best ever...

How long how long will I slide
Separate my side I don’t
I don’t believe it’s bad
Slit my throat
It’s all I ever

I heard your voice through a photograph
I thought it up it brought up the past
Once you know you can never go back
I’ve got to take it on the otherside

Centuries are what it meant to me
A cemetery where I marry the sea
Stranger things could never change my mind
I’ve got to take it on the otherside
Take it on the otherside
Pour my life into a paper cup
The ashtray’s full and I’m spillin’ my guts
She wants to know am I still a slut
I’ve got to take it on the otherside

Scarlet starlet and she’s in my bed
A candidate for my soul mate bled
Push the trigger and pull the thread
I’ve got to take it on the otherside
Take it on the otherside
Turn me on take me for a hard ride
Burn me out leave me on the otherside
I yell and tell it that
It’s not my friend
I tear it down I tear it down
And then it’s born again

How long I don’t believe it’s bad
Slit my throat
It’s all I ever

 

The Planets Fine You Asshole!

Last week, while i was having coffee with a buddy of  mine, at Starbucks, a WWF guy walked towards me and handed me a flier. "Save the Animals, Save the Planet"....


What?? I look at the flier, read thru, followed with a series of questions, which to he blinked like a lost camel in the dessert...


We're so self-important. So self-important. Everybody's going to save something now. "Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails." And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. What? Are these fucking people kidding me? Save the planet, we don't even know how to take care of ourselves yet. We haven't learned how to care for one another, we're gonna save the fucking planet?


I'm getting tired of that shit. Tired of that shit. I'm tired of fucking Earth Day, I'm tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren't enough bicycle paths. People trying to make the world save for their Volvos. Besides, environmentalists don't give a shit about the planet. They don't care about the planet. Not in the abstract they don't. You know what they're interested in? A clean place to live. Their own habitat. They're worried that some day in the future, they might be personally inconvenienced. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn't impress me.


Besides, there is nothing wrong with the planet. Nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine. The PEOPLE are fucked. Difference. Difference. The planet is fine. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. Been here four and a half billion years. Did you ever think about the arithmetic? The planet has been here four and a half billion years. We've been here, what, a hundred thousand? Maybe two hundred thousand? And we've only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. And we have the CONCEIT to think that somehow we're a threat? That somehow we're gonna put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue-green ball that's just a-floatin' around the sun?


The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Been through all kinds of things worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles...hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worlwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages...And we think some plastic bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The planet...the planet...the planet isn't going anywhere. WE ARE!


We're going away. Pack your shit, folks. We're going away. And we won't leave much of a trace, either. Thank God for that. Maybe a little styrofoam. Maybe. A little styrofoam. The planet'll be here and we'll be long gone. Just another failed mutation. Just another closed-end biological mistake. An evolutionary cul-de-sac. The planet'll shake us off like a bad case of fleas. A surface nuisance.


You wanna know how the planet's doing? Ask those people at Pompeii, who are frozen into position from volcanic ash, how the planet's doing. You wanna know if the planet's all right, ask those people in Mexico City or Armenia or a hundred other places buried under thousands of tons of earthquake rubble, if they feel like a threat to the planet this week. Or how about those people in Kilowaia, Hawaii, who built their homes right next to an active volcano, and then wonder why they have lava in the living room.


The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we're gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, 'cause that's what it does. It's a self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover, the earth will be renewed, and if it's true that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new pardigm: the earth plus plastic. The earth doesn't share our prejudice towards plastic. Plastic came out of the earth. The earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children. Could be the only reason the earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place. It wanted plastic for itself. Didn't know how to make it. Needed us. Could be the answer to our age-old egocentric philosophical question, "Why are we here?" Plastic...asshole.


So, the plastic is here, our job is done, we can be phased out now. And I think that's begun. Don't you think that's already started? I think, to be fair, the planet sees us as a mild threat. Something to be dealt with. And the planet can defend itself in an organized, collective way, the way a beehive or an ant colony can. A collective defense mechanism. The planet will think of something. What would you do if you were the planet? How would you defend yourself against this troublesome, pesky species? Let's see... Viruses. Viruses might be good. They seem vulnerable to viruses. And, uh...viruses are tricky, always mutating and forming new strains whenever a vaccine is developed. Perhaps, this first virus could be one that compromises the immune system of these creatures. Perhaps a human immunodeficiency virus, making them vulnerable to all sorts of other diseases and infections that might come along. And maybe it could be spread sexually, making them a little reluctant to engage in the act of reproduction.


Well, that's a poetic note. And it's a start. And I can dream, can't I? See I don't worry about the little things: bees, trees, whales, snails. I think we're part of a greater wisdom than we will ever understand. A higher order. Call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. The Big Electron...It doesn't punish, it doesn't reward, it doesn't judge at all. It just is. And so are we.


You're on a ROCK! floating through space you idiot.. So stop trying to save it...

Deep Shit Humour

Bijou was a beautiful white dove. He sang so beautifully that all the other doves envied him.


And because of this envy, he flew away from his flock. He was confident he can survive on his own, blessed with a beautiful voice and a graceful figure, he could never go wrong.


But the thing is, all his life, Bijou never left the flock. All he knew about the world was his friends and his nest.


Now, all alone, flying through the wheat fields, and grey blue oceans, he had the slightest knowledge where he was heading.


He moved his wings repeatedly, and glided slowly and slowly with its apparently motionless but fully spread wings, a technique for doves to respite while at flight.


Days turned into weeks; weeks turned into months. Bijou become restless. Every place he landed, hoping to make home, did not suit his epitome. When he sang, the reverberation of his song, revealed an obnoxious eeriness.


Bijou continued to fly, higher and higher. Searching for the perfect home. As innocent he was of the world and it's cruel ''nature'', as he flew higher, he felt an unsettling cold wind blazing through his wings. and within a short stint, his wings began to freeze. 


Bijou lost any control he had left on his wings and rocketted down through the cold atmosphere.
As he descented rapidly towards earth, he vaguely watched white flakes blanketing on him, almost creating a shiled of some sort.


Bijou fell on a stack of hay. He was tired, frozen and too ignorant to look around him. The white flakes, which Bijou was unwise to know that it was snow, fell upon him like a congealed blessing from heaven.
Bijou shut his beady eyes.


Warmth crept through his now rescinded body. His wings felt liberated. As he opened his eyes, he realised, he was not covered in the white flakes anymore. But it was something else. It was auburn, smelled horrific and yet gave a tingling warmth sensation to his body. It was dung. A cow, or a cattle of somesort, has dropped some dung on him.


Could this be my perfect home, Bijou thought. He never felt such warmness showered on him, even by his mother when he was little. Not only it reflexed his body and wings, it also rejuvenated his mind.


Bijou started to sing out of joy. And his song echoed happiness. It attracted peace, harmony and love to his mind.


It also attracted a cat.


The cat dug Bijou out of the dung and ate him. Moments before Bijou lost his consciousness, as a result of being clawed to death by the cat, the his innocence towards the knowledge of the cruel world, vanished, as he learnt the greatest lesson the world has to offer.


Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy, and not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend and most importantly, when your in a pile shit, SHUT THE FUCK UP.

LEO

Leo, the Lion.


A Lion that right now, doesn't have a pack.


A Lion that hunts alone. A Lion hunting alone in a vacant jungle.


But the lion is not in despair. It does not feel lonely.


It wasn't laid off, or lost it's pack. It left the pack. This Lion didn't want to be the King of the jungle. This Lion wants to be the King of it's own. An army of it's own.


He isn't a lounge lizard or a lunatic. He is living in loneliness. The linchpin of his loneliness isn't a loss of a lover or leftovers of a lousy liasion.


Once upon time, all the animals in the land loved the Lion. The Lion loved them too. But then it came to comprehend, in order to survive, it has to hunt and prey on the same animals. So the Lion decided to leave for the good of it's friends. But the other animals decided to percept the Lion; that he was arragont of being to good for this wilderness. The Lion kept walking.


Now he has found a solemn of his own. Although it fails to provide the similiar solace as before, nevertheless, the Lion fares to harvest the best out of it. He is new to this jungle, a bitter wilderness to his strong heart.


But as a born leader, the Lion is likely to limn and laud the will lift the spirits of the one who looks and listens to his lead. Never will the Lion fail the ones that loves and trusts him.


So why is the Lion lonely? The oddity of the Lion is legendary and the radiant literature of life is the Lion's livelihood. It is eternally loyal to the luminescence of the light. His labor is to enlighten it's current scenery with a lantern of his large and permanent, poetic, inspiring, semantic lonesome lament.


To live is to love, and to love is to live itself. And to love, is to land in the life of the lonely, untill love is all that lives, till loneliness is left with love alone. To be loved by love itself.


Leo will live.

The Prostitute

He drove slowly down the street. His eyes scanned the sidewalks of KL.


He need a decent whore to overcome his primitive urges. Men. Can't hold on to their thoughts nor ...Well.. the other..


To most people, it was late. But for him, the night was still young. Any common whore would be a decent victim, but since the police have been cracking down hard on prostituition, he's options were rather....dismal.


Then he saw her. She was perfect. Not to beautiful to make his mind wander away; distracting his plans and not too ugly; for him to not pleasure from his act.


"Get in" he said, coldly.


She, without asking a word, gently opened the door, slid into the car, lifting her miniskirt, but not to much to have a peek at her under garments.


He drove of, away from the rich and glowing centre of KL city; to a more measly district.


"Where are we heading"?


"Shut up!"... "You'll know when we get there..."


She brushed of his harsh, angry words as she is used to men of his kind.


He drove into a rocky path; heading towards a run down warehouse.


"Get out".. and she complied, nervous of what he's next act would be.


She stood outside, holding nothing but her purse. "What if he does something"? "Can i fight him off?".. so many questions in her head.


She watched apprehensively, as the man got out of the car. Acting naturally, she started to dig thru her purse.


"What are you looking for"? he asked, getting close to her, with his hands in his pockets.


"Ciggrattes"...


He smiled sinically..."I might have it in my car"...


The man went back to his car, and as he dug the floor of his car, she found what she was looking for in her purse.


As he turned around, he had no idea what she had in her hand, even when he raised his knife to stab her, it was too late to notice the gun in her hand.


As he lay there bleeding to death, she kneeled on him and "You prick! I'm sick of you men taking advantage of us women. You should realise by now, we are not defenceless"...


"You bitch"..the man gasped as he slowly bled to death..


"Yeah.. thats what the other eight assholes said"...

The Clock Struck 12

"Ma, i'm on the way. Sorry, should have left earlier. Got tied up with work. I shud be around to meet you by 12 am..."...


"You one dum dum.. hehehe... nvm.. take your time.. don't rush. Drive Safely! Dun fly!"...


"Aite.. love you gomz.. haha.."


"Aite.. love you ramz... hehe..


Click.


My speedometer read 155kmp/h. Quite fast for Karak. Quite proud too. :) It's 10:45 now. I should be able to reach Kajang by 12am...


Reminds me of my dad's lecture.. " Don't drive more than 80kmp/h in Karak Highway. It's dangerous. Blah blah blah..


Jeez.. Give me a break.. 80kmp/h??  This ain't flintstone's mobil.


Whoooosh! wow... F%^&ing lorry... almost knocked me.. Gotta teach him a lesson..


Gear down, letz rumble.  Vroooooooooom... i overtook him on the emergency lane... But my tyre ran through a pothole ...i can feel my car doing a 180 and the next thing in front of me was BDE 666, the lorry which i wanted to overtake. The headlights. They were bright. I could see the light.


I stared at the light. They were not bright. Quite dim actually. I always reminded her to change the bulbs but she never listens. I stood there staring at the lights, not knowing what to do next. I slowly gathered courage to look for her. There she was, in front of her pc.. as usual, staring at the monitor. I wanted to get close, but i was afraid she would be startled. So i stood there just watching. She ws so beautiful, she always has been, to me. Especially when she smiles. But i guess i won't be seeing that anymore. I was just enjoying the scene of her.


But sadly the Nokia tone interupted my moment. She turned back at grabbed her phone; suprised to see the number on the screen..


Click,


"Hello? Yes neina..."


There was a moment of silence.... then she screamed my name... she screamed so loud.. that it even shivered down my spine.. i stood on her doorway.. watching.. helpless....


Her parents, alarmed by her scream... ran into her room... and they ran through me..


Her mother held her and kept asking why.. but she could not answer as she was half unconscious.. all she kept saying was my name... Her father took the phone from her and after a few seconds... held his hand on his forhead.. and started wheeping as well... i wanted to cry too.. but i was numb.. i couldn't feel a thing..


And suddenly, i felt a tap on my shoulder. It was him. and i smiled..


"Hey Lu, never really thought it would be you". "Why? Where is HE?"


"Sorry son, you had it coming. You did all rite, but you never listened..."


"Sigh"... "Alright Lu, lets go."


As i turned around, the clock in her room struck 12. It was 12am...


I turned back, looked at her and smiled.. Happy that i kept my last promise to her, that i will be around by 12am.

Aval

Aval sits
Aval stares
Aval looks at everyone, everything, anything,
Aval can’t help but be like herself
Aval is self-contained, self-restrained, self-conscious,
Aval is relaxed
Aval wants to let go, of her inhibitions, limitations, expectations
Aval wants
Aval needs
Aval fills MY room, THE girl among many
Aval whispers, yes you, only you
Aval sees nothing in herself that she doesn’t see in others
Aval is a part of a cohesive whole
Aval looks about
Aval wonders
Aval realizes
Aval is an artist, a realist, a pessimist, an intellectual, a relationship seeker, a sensitive soul
Aval is, Aval can, Aval will be anything,
Aval shaped ME, but doesn’t rule me
Aval, like no other, rocks my world
Aval like no other, privileged my life
Aval could have been anything—a weeping willow, a souring snowflake, a daring dog, a
confident cat, but
Aval wasn’t
Aval is a person, a woman, an impressionable being
Aval deciphered my life of twists and turns, bends and hurdles,

Aval drafted my hopes, lifted my spirits and roused my dreams
Aval is unique in her own way

Aval is important to me

Aval is me

Aval is my Gomalah

To Pull Off a Mental Mike..

It isn't easy. But he did it.


And when he succesfully pulled it off, we branded him insane. Mentally unstable. Even I.. cussed him.


"bloody Hell!" i said.. How can he do that! He won't survive. "He's Screwed!"...


"dug his own grave"... "He'll definitely come back crying"!                        


 He never came back


So here i am standing, alone, well, almost... looking up and begging HiM, to send me an angel.


To help me pull off, a Mental Mike. Toughest job, but over time, the best self rewarding satisfaction you can ever have.


And i'm all set to jump, but i'm afraid to take the dive. I knwo at the bottom, it is a smooth and comfort landing. Everything is set perfectly to break my fall. But, the period after the dive and before the landing is what scares me.


I do believe along the way, there are are beautiful sceneries to look at; to keep myself calm. But i also know that the moment i dive, i will shut my eyes. And if i do, the journey down, will be full of assumptions and fake hopes. And as mentioned, although the land below is a bed of roses w/o thorns, the journey eyes shut, is like hustling thru a weed farm!


 (Weed : in a general sense is a plant that is considered by the user of the term to be a nuisance)


Well, Mental Mike, if you're out there somewhere, bless me.


I'm about to replicate your greatest act.






**Public Announcement : Don't try to understand this piece, this ain't a swan song, this is the CrowSquawk.

That middle aged, size 42 belly'd, pushing a stroller with a really ANNOYING, NOISY 2 year old in it, Thing...[Part 1]

When i clicked on new post, i smiled. Cynicaly. Am i mocking myself? Maybe i am.. simply because it's been a while and who am i kidding.. but then again.. i'm not expecting anyting from this self tirade of my opinions...estimations, judgements.. whatevers...


Listen, what i'm about to articulate may sound a lil' bit bizzare.. but, as i mentioned earlier.. what am i expecting? Nothing.


I have a sudden deep, compelling urge to be a dad.... a Father .. i mean not like the guy who pretends to hear your confessions and goes back stage and fondles a young boy.. nope. Nothing like that.
I mean a Daddy. You know, that middle aged, size 42 belly'd, pushing a stroller with a really ANNOYING, NOISY 2 year old in it, thing.


Why? I don't know. Well to begin with, i didn't get my better half knocked up.....yet. So this isn't just an excuse to glorify my pre marital sin. And i haven't been secretly watching "Cute babies" videos on Youtube. And by the way, those videos should be flagged! Parents should not be allowed to "sell" their babies' loveliness online! That's just a par of Child Labour! "Ring Ring"...Hello? UNICEF?


So why then? Is it a subconscious thought that lingers above the actual contemplation to get hitched? That's married for you civilized hobos... Is IT? Sigh....


Let's forget about why... and talk about What if?


Lets see, first, what would i want? A boy? A girl? Man this is tougher than choosing which flavoured candy... if at all that is a comparison i ca make.


Well, lets go with a girl first. She'll be the cutest darling to me in the whole wide world, and with the panorama Facebook has on us these days, probably also the cutest in the whole wide web! My missus' will probably upload 40 million pics of her within 3 days of her birth. (Hello? UNICEF? Come get my wife...).


And then when she grows up to be 5, she will probably outsmart me in every aspect...
Eg:
Dghter: Dad, i found a dead cat today...
Dumb ol' me: Really, how did u know it was dead?
Dghter: Well, i pissed in its ear and it did not move...
Dumb ol' me: You did what??!!
Dghter: You know, i leaned over it's ear and went "pssst" and it did not move...


And then, 16... a teenager.. ahhh... Mother nature's best joke on us. She gives us 15 years to develope love for our children and then turns them into a teenager. And then her boyfriend. To me, watching your daughter being collected by her BF, is like handing over a billion dollars to a gorilla!


And 10 years of undefined torture later, she would (pretend to) ask your permission to marry that gorilla. And you can't say no, simply because... well, honestly i don't know. Your brain is just programmed to automatically say YES, with a fake smile in your face...  or maybe you just want her to be happy, and most importantly, trust her judgement. And then the wedding, blessing your daughter and that despicable gorilla... and seeing her being taken away from you after 26 years of hard work to produce the finest "product" of that Wonderful Evening. Not to mention the 30 grand I spent for her reception! Damn you gorilla!


Wait..wait.. this is going to far... I feel bloated already...  What if it's a boy?? Oh no....


To be continued.......

It is Spelled ....S-A-S-I N-A-L-I-N-I...

Classic tamil films based on romance and love are nice because they have:


1. Decent romance
2. Abundance of love
3. Family values
4. Culture
5. Happily Ever After


And what do you getif you mix them all together... A Super Duper Hit!


And these are the 5 attributes i witnessed in Sasi and Nalini's Engagement / Love Life...


A classic couple that gave us a super hit love story...

Ever heard of "Swaptapadigal".. No? Well Google it then (i would love to elobrate but.... )


Well its also know as the 7 steps /wows to a wedding..


Below are the 5 steps that i witnessed towards their engagement.


Here goes...


1. Decent Romance


If you watch Sasi and Nal, they don't look like a wild or crazy-ly in love couple, or a boring snooty couple..
JUST NICE... JUST BEAUTIFUL... its like, when you have enough tasty food to fulfill your heart and stomach.. or enough knowledge to make you feel smart and secured... thats what they are, they are a decent couple... not to much.. not to little...
A couple, which when you look at, will enlighten a feel of love in you..
A couple, which when you speak to, will make you happy... or delighted..
A couple, which when you blend with, will make you wanna fall in love too...


And to your amazement, they "have been in love" since kindie days... so believe it or not, its a love that conquered 3 decades...


Even Y2K gave up..


Wow to that people!


2. Abundance of Love


Love as stated above, is not only for the engaged couple.. its an entirety.
Love between the a mother and her son, love between a daugther and her parents, love between a cool-headed dad and his son, who has a grasp over his responsibilities; thanks to love itself....
The whole place was filled with love..
Recently Sasi's mom was unfortunate to have experienced a mishap; which resulted in she having to limp when walking...
But that did not stop her from "limping" her way to the bride's house..
And the best part is... well.. take a look at the picture below..

Can you see their hands held together?
The loving husband and caring son guiding the woman of their lives into the brides house. Now, that is a dictionarial definition for the word "BOND".
















3. Family Values
Two families coming together to celebrate the love between to beautiful people, without any boundries, diffrences and most importantly, with loads of love and respect.
Now, ain't that a fairy tale? No, it is a tale that will be told for years to come.
It's a lesson thought by them to people who still uphold ravaging aspects of life to wreck the love of many inspiring lovebirds....
True love is not between two, but the one that encircles the many.


4. Culture
A true, alive, breathing , moving, perfectly sculpured modern and cultured woman. A perfect example to all young indian girls who wants to be the modern yet a cultured Indian woman..


Nalini Karunanithi
Dot.


5. Happily Ever After
As these two pledge to live happily ever after, the point is people, the will live. As to live thru love itself, is a "Happily Ever After".


Finaly, What is love? A word that has no definition? Poets have glorified love. Many battles have raged for the sake of love. Yet, it remains an enigma. Its beauty remains hidden. If you have found true love, you would know that love is a feeling like no other. It complements life and happiness.
Is Love spelled L-O-V-E?


Well, to me, on Feb 5th 2011, it was spelled, "S-A-S-I  N-A-L-I-N-I.....

Handicap

Handicap : Disabilty; a human condition.. A HUMAN CONDITION...


What were the conditions.. i was not told... Did i break any rules? Or just ignored to follow it.. Makes any sense? i know; i'm confused too...


With everything within my grasp, with everything firmly secured, with everybody loving me completely, i am still feeling insecured.. still feeling lonely..


I am a handicapped man.


Its been a while since i went home.


Been on the roads for way too long; trying to find my way back home....


I love my job.. what i do.. where i've been... what i've seen.. but this thing i do is kinda drowning me...


I miss my mum, my dad... my gal.. and especially my buddies..


Its been so long since i hugged my mom, shook my dad's hand, kissed my gal, and fooled around with my buds..


They are all there, firmly placed.. but where am i?


I am here, but not there...


What if its too late?


Its raining on me and its cold...shivering cold... but i feel warmth just under my eyes.. and it ain't rain drops...


I am floating right now.. barely.. but what if i drown?? Where will i wander around?? Shit... even that rhymes..


I was on a chooper heading to south china sea on new years day while my family was having lunch together... everybody was with somebody.. i was beside an Indonesian who looked as lost as i was..


Some people feel lonely or heartbroken or even dejected.. when they lose someone they love..


What about me?? i have everybody yet i feel.. island..


Time management?? Proper Work segregation? Damn.. that sounds tooo machine...


I hope to swim ashore soon.. the tide is getting higher..


With everything blessed to be mine, i still feel cursed..


I am breathing , yet i'm suffocating..


I am a handicap.