Octopus Balls

A Da Crow Production
Last year i was in Cambodia. This was my first visit to Phnom Penh and the cliche "Sea of Humanity" was never far from my mind. At times it was so often in my consciousness, it crowded out other cliches like "never kiss a prostitue on the mouth".

Anyway, there are alot of people in Cambodia. Amd one day, while walking thru a crowded market place, I found myself thinking that every one of them has a story. Each individual in this endless teeming throng has experienced joy, heartache, success, failure, fury and despair. They've all struggled with love, money, family, friends, illness and death. Just like an actual sea contains an endless array of living organism, this "sea of humanity" contains unique, poignant, hilarious and tragic stories. Which is when I realized, my true purpose in life, my true calling is to be a fisher of stories. And all I need for bait is simple curiosity.

Armed with this insight, I walked up to an old, prune faced woman, at a seafood stand, and asked her if she enjoyed her work.  She looked at me with a toothy grin and said, "Indian?" I said, "Yes." She said. "How can your people be so incompetent that they need almost 330 million GODs...?".
"You have the elephant god, the peacock god, the one with 3 heads, the blue one, and the one with the snake and....she went on and on".I replied dumbfoundedly. "I guess we're really just a large and religiuosly frightened society that we need so many Gods to lean on". 

She laughed and said " You try my octopus balls.. very tasty and good for real balls." And so I did.
And we went on sharing tales of our childhood, families, her marriage and children and how her husband lost both his legs while drunk and running butt naked in a minefield.

Afterwards, I realized i've learned a powerful lesson. In order to succesfully fish for stories, you need more than curiosity. You need octopus balls.

SWAMI RAMASHAMALAMADINGDONG

A Da Crow Production

A MESSAGE TO MY DISCIPLES

from DEATHLESS GURU, SWAMI RAMASHAMALAMADINGDONG

In my former incarnation, I passed beyond the state of Savikalpa Samadhi into the rapturous bliss of Nirvikalpa Samadhi. Shortly thereafter, at the age of four hundred and fifty six, I let go my body and released my consciousness into the swirl of infinite, uniting with the primal divine.

In 1984, my essence reincarnated into an orthodox, blue collar Indian family in Taman Petaling, Klang.

Since then, I’ve been suspended from high school twice, gained alot of weight, performed indiscriminate bed-hopping, smoked a bunch of reefer, gargled with bourbon, and currently not talking to my college mates (not my fault, honestly).

So, now that you’re all caught up, I need to ask why have you not come to find me oh' faithful disciples? Wasn’t that the plan? Well, no biggie. Holy water under the bridge. (Ha Ha Ha).

I just wanted you to know I’m now in Kemaman, managing a team of men performing service jobs for a cruel and greedy and not to mention filthy rich corporation. Feel free to drop by and worship the ol’ radiance, Swami Ramashamalamadingdong. Maybe we can start a religion. I could sure use the tax break.

Fridays are a little tough as it’s the weekend here and most countrymen are busy praying or at least pretending to in order not to get trapped in an animosity within their own people. Saturdays are fine as long as it is after my movie time in the neighboring state. (Also, after my nap please)

Call my loyal assistant Nizar and request for a drive on. Please don’t tell him I’m a perfectly realized spiritual being. He is not ready to accept the truth, which is why, out of kindness; your swami pretends to be a pampered, short tempered, grouchy schmuck in the office.

Om

The Dream

A Da Crow Production

The Dream

I'm in a cemetry attending a funeral. I'm not sure whose it is. But it's definitely not my mother's as she was there.
Alive and well. We leave the funeral and head back to an old house which is unfurnished and cold.
There is no food there. I leave my mom there and head out to a supermarket of some sort to shop for food.
I then find myself shopping while holding a baby in my hand. The supermarket is run by young people They play rock music too loudly for a supermarket and seem to be having a good time. I keep losing the baby. Putting it down and forgetting where i put it. I select two items and head to the check out counter where i'm told one the item, looks like a a loaf of bread, is too expensive. I yell at the check out girl i don't want the loaf of bread, and then realize i've lost the baby again. Thankfully i find the baby and but then decide i can't leave my mother in an empty house, so i hurry back and bring her home to my current house which is equiped with all the amenities.

My Analysis

The funeral depicts my inauthentic self. The self that has been conditioned by parents, culture and environment to survive by whatever means necessary. It is a frightened angry thing which i'm realizing is not my true identity. My mother played an important role in it's formation. I take her to a barren place because i'm not able to confront nor integrate her influences into my consciousness. The baby is my authentic self.
The essential soul that exists before the conditioning, before the formation. I am alone responsible for that self's well being and am constantly abandoning it in favor to the illusory comfort of the false self. The supermarket is filled with food, music and youthful energy which symbolizes the wisdom, creativity and vitality that nurtures the soul. There is a high price to pay for these things. It is the price of freedom. I balk at paying that price. Finaly, i retrieve my mother and bring her back to the nice house, which means i'm ready to bring her influance into my life up to a conscious level.

Conclusion

My wakeful thinking is not drenched in metaphor, therefore the dream must have originated from eternal source of compassionate wisdom, or i shouldn't indulge in 3 tablets of antibiotic with espresso before i got to sleep.

The Big Bang Theory

When I was in the shower at 2 am just now, not sure why I showered at 2 am..

I had a train of thoughts galaxing in my ever so maniac mind.

If at all the "Big Bang Theory" were to be true, then every molecule, every atom, every hadrons, every sinusoidal wave, every mechanical oscillations, every multi-directional string, every everything that makes up everything else shares an ineffable property of “pre-Bang” oneness. Assuming that, then everything is always moving in 1 or 2 directions: either way, from that primordial state, or returning towards it.

We feel these quantum movements. Moving away is known as loneliness, fear, anger and despair. Returning is experienced as one or more of the infinite variations and gradations of what we call love. While some might say, that equating the miracle of human feelings to the meandering of sub atomic bric-a-brac robs them of their mystery, the truth is quite opposite. Connecting our fundamental experience of life to the great mystery of existence ties us to the eternal within our every waking moment.  We are not separate. We are made of the same stuff that existed at the beginning and will continue to exist at the end. Therefore, the question we must ask ourselves is simple:

“In what direction am I moving today - towards oneness or away from it?”

When I was done reflecting on this, I stepped out of the shower, toweled off, and while glancing into the mirror, pondered a new thought…

For an Indian guy, I have quite a long penis.