A Da Crow Production
It is often for me to have a conversation by myself while driving alone in my car. Sometimes I have heated arguments with people who are not physically present.It's not an imaginary, but merely a subconcious ego to win an argument.The content of these arguments usually involve me explaining to them how and why they are wrong. I generally make my case with such passion and logic that they have no choice but to admit to being foolish and weak. Although they are not there, but i believe i win the arguments fair and square. The fact that some of these people are dead does not interfere with me mentally correcting them.
Recently I had one of these arguments while driving alone in my car. After making a particularly cogent point to a flawed friend in need of my wisdom and guidance, I noticed that I was being watched by an attractive woman in a nearby vehicle. Desperate to make a better impression, I quickly picked up my cell phone and continued talking as if I were on an urgent business call. I glanced at her, smiled and shrugged like a man whose work was never done.
A policeman then pulled me over for using my cell phone while driving. I tried telling him that I was not actually talking on the phone, but was merely using it as a prop, so as to not appear insane; crazy. He smiled, nodded as if he understood, and then made me blow into a breathalyzer. I passed with flying colors. After that he wrote me a ticket for using a cell phone while operating a motor vehicle, I drove away and had a loud and intense argument with him in which he laughed at my predicament and apologized for doubting me.
A Da Crow Production
AKASANANTYAYATANA: We become limitless space.
VIJNANANANTYAYATANA: We reach the state of limitless consciousness.
AKINCANYAYATANA: We meditate on the non-distinction between the knower and the known.
NAIVASANJNANASANJNAYATANA: We become the state of neither perception nor non-perception.
Just thought you should know so that when you achieve these states you'll know what to tell your friends.
by:Swami Ramashamalamadingdong
A Da Crow Production
HOSPITAL BAHAGIA, TG RAMBUTAN - PERAK
CASE NUMBER: 19-0384-R
PATIENT: RAMANITHAREN TANGGARAJU
DATE: 15-06-2011
TIME: 12:33PM
ASSESSED BY: DR. VISHNU
Okay, let me just check that the tape recorder is on... And let's slide the microphone a little closer... That looks good. Alright, we can begin. Please state your name and age.
Ramanitharen.. Ta..Ta..Tanggaraju... 33.. No...27
Thank you. Mr. Ram, do you know why you're here?
Yes. This is a sanity hearing. You want to determine if I'm mentally fit to continue with my life. I am, you know.
Well, why don't you let us decide that.
I no longer believe God instructed me to create and write false information in order to usher in a golden age of love and understanding that heals the hearts and minds of people everywhere.
And why do you no longer believe that?
Because those were my instructions during my dark period. Now that I see the light at the end of the tunnel, i just want to stick with the current writing style and hold on to my Silver Tinted Ray Ban.
I see. Mr. Ram, do you understand how personalized instructions from God could be symptomatic of a serious mental illness?
No, not really. This is just to persuade myself to write more hysterically. It's not like God wants me to be the Prime Minister or something. Can I go home now?
No.. I'd like to continue our conversation regarding...
The food here sucks.
Okay, well, I'm sorry about that but --
Can you get me a double bacon cheese burger, cooked well of course, with cajun fries on the side?
No. Mr. Ram, do you know why you're here, in a state mental health facility?
Because my blogs haven't been very good lately?
No.
Because I believe that my life is an infinitesimally small expression of something beyond words, beyond thought? That the ultimate reality, the only reality, is an inexpressible stasis from which all else flows? That you and I are just brief flickers of light in God's dream?
Uh...Um... No.
Then I'm stumped... You're not upset about the brief flicker of light comment, are ya? It's a compliment in a pantheistic, cosmotheistic sort of way.
You are here because you took off your clothes, dipped yourself in honey and gold glitter, and went running down Bukit Bintang yelling, "Look at me! I'm a Golden Statue of Hanuman!
Oh. Well... the food here still sucks.
