Holy..........Shit!!

GOD will punish you no matter what.


HE, no matter which HE you believe in, will get the math rite. It's all statictics. Calculations.


You may have committed something terrible to pist him off, that he will wait for the right time; opportunity to get you back. And boy, you will never see it coming. Hits you when you least expect it.

Which brings me to the story i want to tell.

My colleague, (i dare not name), is a holy guy. Never misses his prayer no matter what. He's been a devout since the day he believed in HIM.

Recently, he was out for an appointment with a certain client of ours. And as predicted, being a righteous guy in everything he does, he ended the meeting well.

Now on his way back, it was time for him to perform his prayer. And being a biker, he managed to squeeze into an alley, took a shortcut and reached the "house of GOD" on time.


A usual, he took his time, performed his prayers, wished for happiness and everlasting peace of mind and came out a relieved man.

A relieved man he wasn't when he realised his pair of CAMEL leather boots went missing. And believe me when i say, those things are EXPENSIVE. They probably slayed a herd of cow to make them boots.


He searched high and low, but (sigh).. they weren't there. And to conclude, he rode back his Kawasaki 250cc sports cruiser with a pair of FLIP FLOPS. (Made in Japan). He stopped through 8 traffic lights and was mocked and suprisingly cheered by many  motorist. To to add salt to the wound, he has a florecent green bike and the flip flops were bright yellow.

Now, as HOLY as you can be, when GOD gets cynical on you, all you want to say is HOLY..SHIT!!

And thats what my colleague said.

The Ants go Marching In!

Woke up today for work at 6am to find about 32-34 ants who drowned themselves in my glass of sunquick orange drink I left on my side table

This is such a familiar sight. Ants, attracted to sweetness out of pure instinct would bravely (or foolishly) get into a (literally) sticky sweet situation regardless of the impending doom that awaits them.

Ants dead and drowned in my coke. Ants dead and drowned in my cough syrup. Ants, dead and frozen in my fridge, possibly whilst trying to carry away a cut apple.

They have the natural instincts to find, grub, protect the queen, safeguard the colony, and even send ant signals to one another while organizing the best way to drag a dead dung beetle.

Yet they can't tell each other something simple like " Don't go there! You'll drown!"

Is this God's twisted way of monitoring the world's ant population so that they won't breed and grow in colonies that may eventually overpower us?  

I wonder…

Suprisingly. i'm not sad...

Man Utd 3 Liverpool 2.


Wait a minute.. i should be in tears by now.... being a Liverpool hardcore... but suprisingly.. i'm not..


OH MY GOD!! Have i lost my sense of feelings??... or i have i become one of those nerdy guys who claim to be fanatic Liverpudlian but in reality doesn't give a rat's @$$....??


Nah.... i'm still a hardcore... but i believe i have come to realise that...yes.. it's hard... but hmmm... i might as well say it....


THEY'RE NOT AS GOOD AS THE OTHERS... and by others i clearly mean Man utd, Chelsea and of course.. Arsenal...oh wait! also Man city, Spurs, Aston Villa, Everton... holy smokes!! the list is getting bigger!


The fact that matters is, although Liverpool are pathetic (kills me to say it), but i still love them! I grew up being a Kopite! A Red! A scousser! So, even if they are relegated, (GOD forbidden that)... i woud still cheer for them... no matter what..


Remember, Liverpool is not a team that i support just because it was necessary to be a fan of an EPL club, but it will be part of my life legacy.. no matter what, i'm a RED till i'm DEAD!


YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE!

Instant Happiness comes with Loooooong Patience! (What's instant about that??)

I'm searching for modern happiness. The old-fashioned kind takes just too long. That happiness requires patience and I don't want to wait. I want upgraded happiness. I want a released  6.02, the "new and improved" version.

This is the 21st century and I demand instant happiness; gratification.

Once upon a time (the Flintsones era), you had to wait to eat your meal. Even when the Mammoth Burger King walk-through was open, they offered only self-kill meals. And when you brought them home, you still had to get the fire started.

 

"What? Mammoth burger again? How you cook?"

 

"Ugh. Start fire for cave lady."

 

"Hah. You probably burn cave down."

 

"Hah you. No can burn cave down. Buy insurance policy."

 

"How you start fire?"

 

"Rub two fingers together. Make big flame. Cook mammoth burger."

 

"Last time you burn fingers."

 

"Yummy."

Nobody lights a fire these days. People don't even light ovens anymore. It takes just too long to heat up a meal. It takes just too much patience. I'm hungry now, not 40 minutes from now. That's why God gave us microwave ovens. Just pop the food in and brrr –BEEP- out it comes, nicely warmed for immediate consumption. That's how I want my happiness – toasty warm and right now! (toasty??)
"YES!!. No more burned fingers."

Consider the Internet. You type "electric toothpicks". You hit "enter". Google responds: "Search took 1.02 seconds."
"Seems kinda slow," you think. "Google is ready for the elderly ward in HOSPITAL SERDANG (no copyright issues here..!)." You click on the first result – something about an electric eel eating a balanced breakfast – and a blank screen appears. You wait. ...............website found... but...not... reached...

NERD ALERT!!: Did you know that Shakespeare once waited almost twenty seconds for website to appear, so he could find a word that rhymed with cardiologist? The web site finally appeared in 1997, but he had given up waiting by then

Five seconds pass. Time's up and still not site. Your instant gratification cells have been offended. You surf to another site. Youtube of course. You watch a video of people making a fool of themselves. You like. You go further and watch 20 gizzilion other videos. Electric toothpick forgotten.
 
"Ugh. No get Mammoth Burger web site. This thing no work."
 
"That thing rock."
 
"Rock broken. Go to mammoth burger walk-through"
 
I don't want to walk to get happiness. I want it delivered now. Not twenty seconds later, even if it does rhyme with cardiologist. Not 1.02 seconds later. I want happiness now.

Remember the olden days when you had to get up from the couch to change channels? That took such a monumental effort that most people sat through whole television shows without changing channels. Of course, that might have been because the other channel was playing Kojak!!

 

Back in the two-channel universe there was always something on. Now we flip through 472 channels in ASTRO which keeps us busy while wishing for something worth watching. And by the way, the pic below solves the ASTRO when it rains issue...

 

 

 

 

Thanks to the remote control, affectionately known by its technical term – the life saver– we can flip channels at a relaxed pace of 15 to 20 per minute without even breaking into a sweat. Imagine our body odor if we had to get up from the couch each time we change channels! Yuks!

Happiness should be like television. If I don't get instant gratification, I should be able to change channels with a zap.
The hospital nurse who doesn't care...ZAP!
The driver kissing my rear bumper...ZAP!
The loudmouth yakking in the cinema...ZAP!
The loan officer who call every end of the month...ZAP!
Come to think of it, all those annoying people in my way at the grocery store, at the ticket booth, in the parking lot, in the waiting room...ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!

Sigh.... Happiness is not like a microwave oven. Nor like the Internet. Not even like a remote control .Happiness does not run on the instant gratification system. Happiness takes patience. Dear GOD, please grant me the patience I lack...and I want it now!

Endhiran the Robot

Come Sept 24, the world (well most parts; not likely in Euthopia or Olympus...not yet..) the world will witness the magnetism of Superstar Rajinikanth! And after that, there wouldn't be a territory in the world where Rajinikanth's super stardom is not known!! Thalaivar valge! (Long live the KING!)



Finally, I'm blogging!!!

Weeee! My very own blog... To escape from Facebook and Tweeter... and all the other "stay connected" apps! I hope this turns out well.. Well, i have so much to say but i don't want to end up looking nerdy or gay!
And hopefully i'll have people reading my post; and them commenting... or probably i'll have to FORCE them to do so... :)


And MOST IMPORTANTLY, i don't take it too far and end up being questioned by the ISA!!


Cheers!